will power is for people who don't want to get laid
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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