i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
