who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Found the puke drawer
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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