And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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