apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
