I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
