Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize