did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
