talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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