I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize