There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
