May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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