I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He passed out mid-signature
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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