That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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