the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
