She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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