Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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