Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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