Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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