Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize