Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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