farters have to be the big spoon...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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