cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize