VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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