it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
