I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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