What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
