yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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