My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
