Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
