So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
