Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There r osticjed everywhere
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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