a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
