She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
