I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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