she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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