p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
