You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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