Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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