i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
