They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dicks are not precious.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
