It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im holly from the hills drunk
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
