Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize