belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
