How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Your dad touched me again.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
