You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
