Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
