you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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