I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i will never coherently bang her
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
