You smell like stripper and shame
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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