I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
