its not stalking. its research.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
