Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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