Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
