Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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