i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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