my mouth tastes like poor choices
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
