Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
