and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
