did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize