dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
