White coat. Heels.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
