You really coming over, don't trick.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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