one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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