...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize