cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
