Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize