Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
