At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
