i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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