His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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