I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I can't put those talents on a resume
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
